Why don't you sit right back?
And I, I may tell you a tale
A tale of three little pigs
And a big bad wolf

Well, the first little piggy, well, he was kinda hicky
Spent most of his days just a-dreamin' of the city
And then one day, he bought a guitar
He moved to Hollywood to become a star
But living on the farm, he knew nothing of the city
Built his house out of straw, what a pity
Then one day, jammin' on some chords
Along came the wolf knocking on his door

Little pig, little pig, let me in
(Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin)
Little pig, little pig, let me in
(Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin)

Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Well, the second little piggy, well, he was kinda stoned
He spent most of his time just a-ganja smokin'
Hoppin' and a-boppin' down on Venice Beach
Getting paid money for religious speech
Built his shelter from what he garbage picked
Mostly made up of old cans and sticks
Then one day he was cranking up Bob Marley
Along came the Wolf on his big bad Harley

Little pig, little pig, let me in
(Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin)
Little pig, little pig, let me in
(Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin)

Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Well, the third little piggy was a grade-A student
His daddy was a rockstar named Pig Nugent
Earned his Master's degree from Harvard College
Built his house from his architect knowledge
A tri-level mansion, Hollywood Hills
Daddy's rock stardom paid for the bills
Then one day came the old house smasher
The big bad wolf, the little piggy slasher

Little pig, little pig, let me in
(Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin)
Little pig, little pig, let me in
(Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin)

Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in

Well, the big bad wolf
Well, he huffed, and he puffed, all that he could
And lo and behold, the little piggy's house stood
It's made out of concrete, the little piggy shouted
The wolf just frowned as he pouted
So they called nine-eleven, like any piggy would
They sent out Rambo, just as fast as they could
Yo, wolf-face, I'm your worst nightmare, your ass is mine

Well, the wolf fell dead, as you can plainly see
And that's the end of this story for you and me
If you still give a listen, you just may
Hear the Big Wolf or little piggies say

Little pig, little pig, let me in
(Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin)
Little pig, little pig, let me in
(Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin)

Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in

And the moral of the story is that bands with no talent
Can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show