Creeping Onions make you cry
Creeping Onions, I'll tell you why

They don't make a sound as they sneak into town
But you can smell 'em from miles around
They're raw and rude, clever but crude
I mean, whoa, they really stink, dude

Creeping Onions, the terrible two
Creeping Onions, they're coming for you

When the hour grows dark, they're out in the park
Causing damage to national landmarks
They're double trouble, bulbous and fat
Watch out, we're gonna get squashed, splat

That's right, y'all, these onions be creepin'
And if you try to cut 'em, you'll be the one weepin'

You'll find only wickedness lurking within
When you peel off their layers of onion skin
There's no escape, nowhere to run
If you step to the creeping onions

Creeping Onions, evil since birth
Creeping Onions, roaming the Earth

If they try to tangle with this here vegetable
Then they'll get mangled till they're unrecognizable
I'll toss 'em in a vat of oil that stings
Fry 'em up and make onion rings

Ha-ha-ha-ha