I was waiting at the Pearly Gates
But the angels said "It's members only, mate"
St. Peter was shepherding in the meek
But all he said to me was "Schoolies Week."
Lucifer's got issues with Paradise
So he blocked the view with miles of high-rise
Car yards far as the eye can see
And a million teens who think they're free
In Hell it's always
Devil don't need fire and brimstone
His place is full of kids with mobile phones
You still hear weeping and gnashing teeth
But that's just bad E and too much lemon Ruski
Monday!! - Binge drinking
Tuesday!! - The world owes yuo a living
Wednesday!! - Everyone calls you "man"
Thursday!! - Every car's a Divvy Van
Friday!! - One big Desperate Dateless Ball
Saturday!! - Sorted for Rohipnol
Sunday!! - Wake up with vomit breath
Monday!! - Back to the start again
So you better pray you haven't been bad
Or you could wake up in a "Say No To Drugs" ad
Devil rubs his hands in glee
And in a booming voice shouts: "Fluffy Ducks are on me!"